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Feeling alone and misunderstood

Sometimes, we might feel different from other people or that they don't understand how we are feeling. This can be really tough and isolating. If you are feeling this way, we have tips and advice on what you can do to feel better.

Your feeling are valid

Sometimes, it can feel like no one understands what we are going through or what we are feeling. Or you might feel like people just don’t get you. You might look at other people’s lives and feel like yours is very different. This can be very isolating and frustrating, and can make us feel worse and more alone.

Why are you feeling alone and misunderstood

It is our human instinct to want to connect with others, to express ourselves and to be understood. That's why it can be so hard when we feel disconnected and alone. You might be experiencing some of the following:  

  • bullying, or being made to feel like an 'outcast'

  • having a different communication style to people around you

  • worrying about how people will respond to you if you tell them how you really feel 

  • assuming people won't understand you, so you might avoid people altogether 

  • a difficult family, abuse or trauma

If you're having negative thoughts

When people judge us, dislike us or react to us negatively it can make us feel guilty, ashamed, helpless, angry, fearful and lots of other uncomfortable emotions. When we have these emotions, we might blame ourselves or feel like we don’t deserve to be happy.


Once we start judging ourselves, our negative thoughts can spiral. These thoughts and feelings can make you want to hide from other people, or feel scared of opening up. But there is support out there that can help you. You do matter and you deserve to be happy.

If these negative thoughts feel overwhelming, you might be struggling with:

    • Depression – If you’re feeling down all the time and you are having a lot of negative thoughts, you might be experiencing depression.

    • Suicidal thoughts and feelings – When these negative thoughts feel so overwhelming, you might feel like there is no way out. If you are feeling like this, it’s important you get the help you need.

    • Low self-esteem - if you feel bad about yourself, struggle with confidence or the way you look. ether 

  • a difficult family, abuse or trauma

If you feel people dont understand you

Everyone interacts with and experiences things differently, whether it’s chatting with friends, understanding how people are feeling, finding crowded spaces tough or coping with change. If you are neurodivergent, for example if you are autistic or have ADHD, this can affect how you see the world and how you interact with others.

Sometimes you might feel lonely because people might not understand what you’re going through and think you’re being difficult. But you deserve support. Talk to friends and family about how you are feeling and what you do or don’t find helpful so that they can do their best to support you.

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